it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
