you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
