your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
