Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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