so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
