Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
