You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
