We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
