I accidentally had phone sex last night
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
