Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
