I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
