no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
