Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
