Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
