you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
