i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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