The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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