Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
