You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Randomize
