She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
