my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
