office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
