I got her a Nickelback box set.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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