I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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