Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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