I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
