butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
