I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
