He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
