He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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