hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
