Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
