What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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