he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
