You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
