Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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