I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
smell my finger.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
