So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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