Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
