I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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