he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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