Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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