i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
