I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
