Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
