Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
