I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We're too hungover to prance.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
