Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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