we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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