I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
